How about some poorly worded beer reviews.

Rothaus Pils Tannen Zäpfle
Brewer: Badische Staatsbrauerei Rothaus AG

A German Pilsner. Nifty bottle art. Exceptionally clear with a lovely big fluffy head. Lovely bready grainy “wheaty” nose and also very herbal and slightly hoppy notes, with that great lager funk in there. The taste is extremely well balanced malts and hops, giving a crisp and dry finish. Some nice malt aftertaste and a good hop bitterness lingers for the next sip. 5.1ABV is surprising. A great beer.

Weißenoher Eucharius Pils
Brewer: Klosterbrauerei Weissenohe / Weißenohe Wirtshaus

Another German Pilsner. Much like the above, colour/clarity is amazing. Nose is very bready malty, lager funk more subdued here but still present. This one is much crisper/cleaner, The taste is more hops, theres is less malt but a far more focused crisp clean bitterness. Lovely lingering bitterness. This is actually fantastic.

Früh Kölsch
Brauerei Früh am Dom

A Kolsch, a big can. Nose is malts, very clean malts, very light hops, some yeast funk. Lovely clear gold and great foamy lasting head with amazing lacing. Taste is crisp malts? Nice malt flavour thats clean and fast very balanced with the crisp hops. Its dry but not fully dry, Its very clean , leaving a mild bitterness and no malt aftertaste. This is a very good Kolsch.