Best of the Worst: Biohazard, Slaughter High, and Kill Point 📽️
Death Spa (1988)
Death Spa. Stars Ken Foree. A guy owns a health club and his wife commits suicide and then she possesses the clubs computers and equipment, using it to murder people. It ends with the husband frying the buildings computer destroying his spirit-wife which causes the health club to burn down killing what seems to be hundreds of people trapped inside.
1.5/5
Blood Simple (1984)
This is a Neo-noir Crime Thriller with a murder plot. It’s the directorial debut of the Coen brothers. I really liked this but I’m going to watch it again before posting a text review. 3/5.
Nowhereman – 123 Days Later, Pilsner. 5.4% 375ml can . Lagered for 123 days. Very light sudsy head, rich golden colour, and crystal clear. Smell is lager funky with a little bit of biscuity malt. Taste is mainly nice traditional style bittering hops (unsure what hops were used but its Saaz-like) and very light bready malt if any. Decent but a little low carbonation, and it has a surprisingly for style very nice mouthfeel. Its dry, crisp, funky, and bigger than I was expecting on the bittering hops and funk. It is very nice. 3/5.
Nowhereman – Carnival, Passionfruit Rice Lager. 5% 375ml can. Not much head, a light golden colour, slightly cloudy. Its smells heaps like passionfruit. It has that rice taste initially, and a little bit of some other malt maybe? Theres a mild passionfruit taste, and a light fruit sourness in there. A very light hop bitterness. Its unusual to have fruit used so mildly, it kind of replaces the hops in some ways. Its like a commercial lager with a real nice passionfruit smell, and a mild passionfruit taste. Its very nice. Good carbonation. A super drinkable mildly fruited beer. 2.5/5.
Nowhereman – Birra Negroni, Amber ale. 5.8% 375ml can. Blood orange, corriander, juniper, orange peel and Citra hops according to the can. Ruby red/brown colour, a slight and lightly lacing head. It smells like Citra, because you cant escape Citra, and caramel malts maybe? The taste is pretty complex, a kind of a rye-like spicy thing? earthy? In the taste, and to some extent the smell, I feel like there is a brettanomyces character? Theres definitely orange peel and pith,and a bit more citrus sour as it warms, and that whatever it is spicy thing? Thats not bad. A Farmhouse Negroni would be an amazing decision. 2.5/5
Edit 19/10/22 – Trying the Birra Negroni again. Nowhereman confirmed no Brett anywhere in their brewery or beers, so…thats that. As I said the first time, I like this beer!
Massacre at Central High (1976)
“That transition at 40 mins from the dead electrocuted hang glider to the sex scene directly following is really… something” – Youtube comment
Maybe an influence on Heathers (1988)? I am watching a pretty dogshit copy of this movie off Youtube.
“The Italian version of this film, called Sexy Jeans, was edited with pornographic inserts” – Wikipedia
New kid David moves to a new school, its run by a gang of bullies, and after seeing them attack other students and try and rape students he intervenes to help. The bullies cripple David by kicking out the jack of the car he is under and repairing. He then seeks total revenge. The school students also side with David and take some revenge of their own. The culmination is the bombing of the school dance where David dies and his friends blame it on students who died earlier.
The bullies are over the top brutal, but the revenge is just fucking insane. The biggest similarities between this and Heathers is the bombing of the school dance (a pep rally in Heathers), and the crazed ego of David at times (maybe similar Slaters character at moments) . This not comedic at all and not cynical like Heathers. Its acted well enough, shot well, an is not a B-grade film. Worth it for the over the top revenge sequences. 2.5/5.
The UFO Incident (1975)
It’s the Betty and Barney Hill story staring James Earl Jones. A 1975 TV drama. It addresses their encounter via flashbacks while they discuss them with a psychologist and undergo hypnosis. Its get rather dramatic and focuses on their first main abduction encounter. The aliens and UFO’s are uses sparingly, though it does show Betty and Barney being taken onto a spacecraft and experimented on, it is rather dark. Enjoyable enough for a 1975 TV movie. 2/5.
House (1986)
Its meant to be a horror comedy but its not that funny.
An author breaks up with his wife and their son disappears. He moves to some house and has to write a new novel. He writes it about the Vietnam war and has nightmares about a person he fought with in Vietnam, and they eventually turn up as an undead creature to exact revenge because he let them be captured and killed. Also its the creature that took his son.
It’s not bad I guess, not very funny but has comedy moments none the less, the creature looks cool. 2/5.
Who can Kill a Child (1976)
¿Quién puede matar a un niño? Some real 70’s exploitation insanity.
Kids are attacking and killing adults in retribution for decades of abuse and past atrocities against children (as seen in the opening montage of stock footage of war, famine, the holocaust, that just keeps going for a full 10 minutes). Initially the adults are incapable of killing the children in defense, but that soon ends… The adults fight back. The children seem to be able to recruit other children just by looking at them. An unborn child “joins” the children by killing the pregnant main female character from the inside.
It’s a rather slow and meandering and occasionally very fucked up film.
The movie ends with a small group of children preparing to head to mainland Spain on a motorboat, taking care to go in low numbers to avoid suspicion. When one girl asks, “Do you think the other children will start playing the way we do?” the boy in charge grins and says, “Oh, yes…there are lots of children in the world. Lots of them.” 2/5.
Lair of the White Worm (1988)
A horror comedy by Ken Russell based on the Bram Stoker novel, staring Hugh Grant and Peter Capaldi.
Peter Capaldi is an archeologist digging on the grounds of Hugh Grants manor. They find a skull, possibly that of the the d’Ampton ‘worm’ (Lambton worm), a legendary created said to have been slain by an ancestor of Grants. A missing persons watch is found, a seductress is encountered, and the legend of the “worm” may be more real than it seems.
An interesting really enjoyable film, a bit raunchy, and almost camp? There’s some far out psychedelic moments, some horror moments. It is absolutely a comedy and in ways you are not initially expecting at all, dry yet overt and often just outlandish and bizarre. Intelligently and stupidly, almost subversively, fully aware of its insanity. 3/5
Men (2022)
British folk horror. A strange interesting film.
A woman takes a vacation in the country after the suicide of her husband. She encounters men in a variety of fucked up forms.
Its shot lovely, and the score is excellent. Its atmospheric yet intense, grounded but with big surreal moments, rich in subtext, and genuinely creepy and fucked up and confronting as needed. An interesting, different and even enjoyable film. 3/5
Houseboat Horror (1989)
Some A grade Aussie shot on video dogshit.
A rock band, crew and entourage go to a lake to film a video clip. A killer, known as Acid Head, starts killing everyone.
Its awfulness and notoriety are the films only redeeming qualities. 1/5
Door in a burnt out and abandoned home.
I’ve read the name on the can, I’ve had a sip, and I don’t know who this is. This isn’t my Rodenbach.
