Event

Yule Lad #5 – Pot Scraper

Pottaskefill aka Pot-Scraper arrives on the 16th and hangs around until the 29th.

Pot Scraper is expected on 16 December. He is also sometimes called Pot Licker since in the old days he waited to snatch away the pots that had not been washed and licked the food remains from the insides. 

Pot Scraper, the fifth one,
was a funny sort of chap.
When kids were given scrapings,
he’d come to the door and tap.

And they would rush to see
if there really was a guest.
Then he hurried to the pot
and had a scrapingfest.

Time for the fifth brother of thirteen, which means it’s time to terrify the children again! You’d think Pot-Scraper would be yet another kitchen raider, but back in the Icelandic day, giving the kids the pot to scrape clean was sort of the equivalent of licking the bowl.

His method is to knock on the door when the parents aren’t around, and when the kids run up to answer it he’ll slip in somewhere else and steal the children’s treat for himself.

Defense against Pot-Scraper:

  • Don’t leave the kids alone at home
  • Eat the yummy bits yourself
  • Lock every other entrance to the home thoroughly
  • Goddamnit kids I told you about strangers
Event

Yule Lad #4 – Spoon Licker

Þvörusleikir aka Spoon Licker appears on the 15th and stays around until the 28th.

Spoon Licker comes down from the mountains on 15 December. In the past he would sneak into the houses and lick the wooden spoon used to scrape the pots.

The fourth was Spoon Licker;
like spindle he was thin.
He felt himself in clover
when the cook wasn’t in.

Then stepping up, he grappled
the stirring spoon with glee,
holding it with both hands
for it was slippery.

As pathetic as Stubby is, you’d think Spoon-Licker would fall in the same category. He stalks your kitchen and waits for a chance to steal the spoons and assorted stirring tools when the cook looks away and just… licks them. However, that’s where the devil in the details rears its ugly head, because that’s all he ever eats. Not the food. He ignores the food. All he steals is the spoon to lick, and that’s his only source of sustenance.

Defense against Spoon-Licker

  • Keep close watch on the pots, and one eye on the chimney
  • Never relax
  • Develop eyes in the back of your head
  • Oh god what if he’s already here
Event

Yule Lad #3 – Stubby

Stúfur aka Stubby appears on the 14th and hangs around until the 27th,

The Yule Lad who arrives on 14 December is called Stubby. He is a little, shall we say, vertically challenged. He is also known as Pan Scraper because in the old days he used to try snatching bits of food from the frying pan.

Stubby was the third called,
a stunted little man,
who watched for every chance
to whisk off a pan.

And scurrying away with it,
he scraped off the bits
that stuck to the bottom
and brims – his favorites.

As his name indicates, he’s the shortest of the Yule Lads, possibly the fattest, and by far the least dangerous. The only thing he does is to steal your pan after you’ve cooked on it in order to lick it clean of the disgusting burnt bits, fat and remnants of oil on it.

Defense against Stubby:

  • Push him around
  • Make fun of him
  • Point and laugh
Event

Yule Lad #2 – Gully Gawk

Giljagaur aka Gully Gawk arrives on the 13th and stays until the 26th!

On 13 December it is Gully Gawk’s turn. Before milking machines were invented he had a habit of stealing into the cowshed and slurping the foam off the milk in the buckets.

The second was Gully Gawk,
gray his head and mien.
He snuck into the cow barn
from his craggy ravine.

Hiding in the stalls,
he would steal the milk, while
the milkmaid gave the cowherd
a meaningful smile

Gully Gawk, as his name implies, approaches towns and farmsteads by way of gullies and sneaks into the cowsheds at the first opportunity. He hides among the cows and, when the milkmaid is inevitably distracted by the strapping farm lad that inevitably wanders in, skims off the top of the milk, thus stealing the cream. And boy howdy is that bad, because cream is the foundation of all good Christmas food from the buttery side dishes to the cream cake toppings and even the best Christmas sauce. All you’re left with in his wake is a bucket of skimmed milk and a happy milkmaid.

Defense against Gully Gawk

  • Discourage sin among the farmhands
  • Beat young strapping men with sticks so they won’t approach
  • Search cowshed thoroughly
  • Don’t live near a gully
  • Milk the cows yourself you lazy bum, jesus
Event

Yule Lad #1 – Sheep-Cote Clod

Stekkjarstaur aka Sheep-Cote Clod, Appears on the 12 and hangs around until the 25th!

The first of them was Sheep-Cote Clod.
He came stiff as wood,
to prey upon the farmer’s sheep
as far as he could.

He wished to suck the ewes,
but it was no accident
he couldn’t; he had stiff knees
– not to convenient.

He arrives, the first of his brothers, and his most notable feature – aside from sheep-related depravity – is his legs. Note that they do not bend. His joints are so stiff that he cannot truly run, and must hobble along as if on stilts. This will make his particular activity especially unpleasant for the sheep. You see, he sucks their teats dry.

Defense Against Sheep-Cote Clod:

  • Guard the sheep throughout the night
  • Milk them dry first and then don’t give a shit
  • Knee-high obstacles which he will be comically unable to jump or step over
  • Don’t own sheep (they are fuckers anyway)
Drinks

Beers..?

Some random beers from the last few weeks and a bit…

Otherside x Copper and Oak Imperial Pilsner collab was a bit too hot, big unbalanced ABV, I love Copper & Oaks collabs usually. Rocky Ridge Syncopation was not very pineapple but it was very pine resin, very standard IPA. Slow Lane BA Old Ale was very good, they consistently make great stuff. Gage Roads Cheeky Pash was a nice standard fruity sour.

Drinks

Cool Find – Lichtenhainer

I think I drank this about 3 or so weeks ago, and just forgot to post about it.

Rocky Ridge & 8 Wired – Pflaume, Lichtenhainer Plum Smoked Sour beer. 4.5% 375ml can. This was canned in July, and its one of those rare styles, sometimes considered a “Lost Style”, and such a weird find at my local. Had not heard about this being released at all.
The smell is a nice woody smoke, none of that bacon thing, and some plum and other red berry fruit? Nice big pinkish head on pouring, nice carbonation, hazy/opaque ruby colour. I believe this has some wheat in the grist, which is traditional and I think helps with some of the mouthfeel. The taste is initially a plum taste and sourness, a lighter ripe fruit sour, not overbearing or blunt. The plum also adds some fruit sweetness. Then its the smoke which is a wood smoke character, not the bacon or ham thing you often get in conjunction with a bigger and sweeter malt bill. And then you get a woody dryness from the smoked malts, like a well oaked red wine. The sourness just accentuating it all, making it pop, the whole time. Really really great beer and style. 3/5.

Lichtenhainer info @ the fantastic Milk the Funk wiki