Nail Brewing Gareth Skywalker Golden IPA, its a good beer, no idea when this was last canned though, probably a year old! | Innate Heirloom Czech Pilsner is a nice beer, Innante make some interesting stuff, | Rocky Ridge Crispy Concord NZ Pilsner one of their recent collabs real nice | Rocky Ridge Staved & Confused Oaked WCIPA, another of the collabs big oakyness, nice stuff | Nowhereman Rice IPA a collab with a local bahn mi place (Le Vietnam), really prominent rice character in a good way, some light lemongrass and ginger, another nice one | Beerfarm Firkin of Duck Dry Hopped Sour, real tart, real “fresh” hoppy, great | Beerfarm Azacca Vodou Haze, an Azacca hopped hazy, again real nice stuff.
Skyrgámur aka Skyr Gobbler, basically Yogurt Gobbler arrives on the 19th and leaves on the 1st of January.
On 19 December we welcome the Yule Lad called Skyr Gobbler. His favourite is an Icelandic dairy product called skyr, which is similar to yogurt. He likes it so much that he used to sneak into the pantry and gobble all the skyr out of the skyr tub.
Skyr Gobbler, the eighth, was an awful stupid bloke. He lambasted the skyr tub till the lid on it broke.
Then he stood there gobbling – his greed was well known – until, about to burst, he would bleat, howl and groan.
This dude will get into your skyr-barrel and not just lick or steal a little, oh no. He’ll eat until he can’t eat any more at all, and that’s going to be a whole hell of a lot.
Hurðaskellir aka door slammer. This freak turn up on the 18th and leaves on the 31st
Door Slammer comes to town on 18 December. He always made a lot of noise when he walked around, slamming doors and such, so people could hardly get any rest.
The seventh was Door Slammer, a sorry, vulgar chap: When people in the twilight would take a little nap,
he was happy as a lark with the havoc he could wreak, slamming doors and hearing the hinges on them squeak.
Although the other Lads’ acts of dickery may be confusing to modern people, and most of them require a fair understanding of medieval Icelandic culture and way of life to fully appreciate, Door-Slammer’s rather bland brand of shithead-ism requires little elaboration. This asshole shows up at your house in the middle of the night and slams your fucking doors. Repeatedly.
Askasleikir aka Bowl Licker arrives on the 17th and leaves on the 30th.
Bowl Licker comes to town on 17 December. In the past, Icelanders ate from lidded wooden bowls that they sometimes kept under the bed or on the floor. Bowl Licker would hide under the bed, and if someone put their bowl on the floor he grabbed it and licked the inside clean.
Bowl Licker, the sixth one, was shockingly ill bred. From underneath the bedsteads he stuck his ugly head.
And when the bowls were left to be licked by dog or cat, he snatched them for himself – he was sure good at that!
This one requires a bit of an explanation. You see, there is a certain kind of food container in Iceland called an Askur, which doesn’t have an equivalent elsewhere. The “bowl” this lad licks is the Askur.
There are two reasons why him licking these is mean. The first is that an empty Askur would be left out for the cat or dog of the house to lick as a bit of a treat, and Bowl-licker would snatch it from the pet for himself. The other reason is that sometimes he might snatch one of these when it’s full, and over Christmas the Askur is traditionally filled with all kinds of special treats that each person is meant to be responsible for on their own and pace over Christmastime. Essentially, Bowl-licker will steal your candy-filled stocking. And then lick it.
Defense against Bowl-licker:
Don’t use an Askur (practically no one does this anymore)
Don’t skimp on the pet food, he only wants scraps to steal from them
Pottaskefill aka Pot-Scraper arrives on the 16th and hangs around until the 29th.
Pot Scraper is expected on 16 December. He is also sometimes called Pot Licker since in the old days he waited to snatch away the pots that had not been washed and licked the food remains from the insides.
Pot Scraper, the fifth one, was a funny sort of chap. When kids were given scrapings, he’d come to the door and tap.
And they would rush to see if there really was a guest. Then he hurried to the pot and had a scrapingfest.
Time for the fifth brother of thirteen, which means it’s time to terrify the children again! You’d think Pot-Scraper would be yet another kitchen raider, but back in the Icelandic day, giving the kids the pot to scrape clean was sort of the equivalent of licking the bowl.
His method is to knock on the door when the parents aren’t around, and when the kids run up to answer it he’ll slip in somewhere else and steal the children’s treat for himself.
Þvörusleikir aka Spoon Licker appears on the 15th and stays around until the 28th.
Spoon Licker comes down from the mountains on 15 December. In the past he would sneak into the houses and lick the wooden spoon used to scrape the pots.
The fourth was Spoon Licker; like spindle he was thin. He felt himself in clover when the cook wasn’t in.
Then stepping up, he grappled the stirring spoon with glee, holding it with both hands for it was slippery.
As pathetic as Stubby is, you’d think Spoon-Licker would fall in the same category. He stalks your kitchen and waits for a chance to steal the spoons and assorted stirring tools when the cook looks away and just… licks them. However, that’s where the devil in the details rears its ugly head, because that’s all he ever eats. Not the food. He ignores the food. All he steals is the spoon to lick, and that’s his only source of sustenance.
Defense against Spoon-Licker
Keep close watch on the pots, and one eye on the chimney
Stúfur aka Stubby appears on the 14th and hangs around until the 27th,
The Yule Lad who arrives on 14 December is called Stubby. He is a little, shall we say, vertically challenged. He is also known as Pan Scraper because in the old days he used to try snatching bits of food from the frying pan.
Stubby was the third called, a stunted little man, who watched for every chance to whisk off a pan.
And scurrying away with it, he scraped off the bits that stuck to the bottom and brims – his favorites.
As his name indicates, he’s the shortest of the Yule Lads, possibly the fattest, and by far the least dangerous. The only thing he does is to steal your pan after you’ve cooked on it in order to lick it clean of the disgusting burnt bits, fat and remnants of oil on it.
Giljagaur aka Gully Gawk arrives on the 13th and stays until the 26th!
On 13 December it is Gully Gawk’s turn. Before milking machines were invented he had a habit of stealing into the cowshed and slurping the foam off the milk in the buckets.
The second was Gully Gawk, gray his head and mien. He snuck into the cow barn from his craggy ravine.
Hiding in the stalls, he would steal the milk, while the milkmaid gave the cowherd a meaningful smile
Gully Gawk, as his name implies, approaches towns and farmsteads by way of gullies and sneaks into the cowsheds at the first opportunity. He hides among the cows and, when the milkmaid is inevitably distracted by the strapping farm lad that inevitably wanders in, skims off the top of the milk, thus stealing the cream. And boy howdy is that bad, because cream is the foundation of all good Christmas food from the buttery side dishes to the cream cake toppings and even the best Christmas sauce. All you’re left with in his wake is a bucket of skimmed milk and a happy milkmaid.
Defense against Gully Gawk
Discourage sin among the farmhands
Beat young strapping men with sticks so they won’t approach
Stekkjarstaur aka Sheep-Cote Clod, Appears on the 12 and hangs around until the 25th!
The first of them was Sheep-Cote Clod. He came stiff as wood, to prey upon the farmer’s sheep as far as he could.
He wished to suck the ewes, but it was no accident he couldn’t; he had stiff knees – not to convenient.
He arrives, the first of his brothers, and his most notable feature – aside from sheep-related depravity – is his legs. Note that they do not bend. His joints are so stiff that he cannot truly run, and must hobble along as if on stilts. This will make his particular activity especially unpleasant for the sheep. You see, he sucks their teats dry.
Defense Against Sheep-Cote Clod:
Guard the sheep throughout the night
Milk them dry first and then don’t give a shit
Knee-high obstacles which he will be comically unable to jump or step over
Some random beers from the last few weeks and a bit…
Otherside x Copper and Oak Imperial Pilsner collab was a bit too hot, big unbalanced ABV, I love Copper & Oaks collabs usually. Rocky Ridge Syncopation was not very pineapple but it was very pine resin, very standard IPA. Slow Lane BA Old Ale was very good, they consistently make great stuff. Gage Roads Cheeky Pash was a nice standard fruity sour.
