Hurðaskellir aka door slammer. This freak turn up on the 18th and leaves on the 31st

Door Slammer comes to town on 18 December. He always made a lot of noise when he walked around, slamming doors and such, so people could hardly get any rest.

The seventh was Door Slammer,
a sorry, vulgar chap:
When people in the twilight
would take a little nap,

he was happy as a lark
with the havoc he could wreak,
slamming doors and hearing
the hinges on them squeak.

Although the other Lads’ acts of dickery may be confusing to modern people, and most of them require a fair understanding of medieval Icelandic culture and way of life to fully appreciate, Door-Slammer’s rather bland brand of shithead-ism requires little elaboration. This asshole shows up at your house in the middle of the night and slams your fucking doors. Repeatedly.

Defense against Door-Slammer:

• Lock and bar doors when not in active use
• Alternatively, wedge them open securely
• Don’t allow kids anywhere near your home
• Use nothing but revolving doors

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Askasleikir aka Bowl Licker arrives on the 17th and leaves on the 30th.

Bowl Licker comes to town on 17 December. In the past, Icelanders ate from lidded wooden bowls that they sometimes kept under the bed or on the floor. Bowl Licker would hide under the bed, and if someone put their bowl on the floor he grabbed it and licked the inside clean.

Bowl Licker, the sixth one,
was shockingly ill bred.
From underneath the bedsteads
he stuck his ugly head.

And when the bowls were left
to be licked by dog or cat,
he snatched them for himself
– he was sure good at that!

This one requires a bit of an explanation. You see, there is a certain kind of food container in Iceland called an Askur, which doesn’t have an equivalent elsewhere. The “bowl” this lad licks is the Askur.

There are two reasons why him licking these is mean. The first is that an empty Askur would be left out for the cat or dog of the house to lick as a bit of a treat, and Bowl-licker would snatch it from the pet for himself. The other reason is that sometimes he might snatch one of these when it’s full, and over Christmas the Askur is traditionally filled with all kinds of special treats that each person is meant to be responsible for on their own and pace over Christmastime. Essentially, Bowl-licker will steal your candy-filled stocking. And then lick it.

Defense against Bowl-licker:

• Don’t use an Askur (practically no one does this anymore)
• Don’t skimp on the pet food, he only wants scraps to steal from them
• In fact, don’t have pets
• Eat all the candy first, you disgusting pig

Pottaskefill aka Pot-Scraper arrives on the 16th and hangs around until the 29th.

Pot Scraper is expected on 16 December. He is also sometimes called Pot Licker since in the old days he waited to snatch away the pots that had not been washed and licked the food remains from the insides. 

Pot Scraper, the fifth one,
was a funny sort of chap.
When kids were given scrapings,
he’d come to the door and tap.

And they would rush to see
if there really was a guest.
Then he hurried to the pot
and had a scrapingfest.

Time for the fifth brother of thirteen, which means it’s time to terrify the children again! You’d think Pot-Scraper would be yet another kitchen raider, but back in the Icelandic day, giving the kids the pot to scrape clean was sort of the equivalent of licking the bowl.

His method is to knock on the door when the parents aren’t around, and when the kids run up to answer it he’ll slip in somewhere else and steal the children’s treat for himself.

Defense against Pot-Scraper:

• Don’t leave the kids alone at home
• Eat the yummy bits yourself
• Lock every other entrance to the home thoroughly
• Goddamnit kids I told you about strangers

Þvörusleikir aka Spoon Licker appears on the 15th and stays around until the 28th.

Spoon Licker comes down from the mountains on 15 December. In the past he would sneak into the houses and lick the wooden spoon used to scrape the pots.

The fourth was Spoon Licker;
like spindle he was thin.
He felt himself in clover
when the cook wasn’t in.

Then stepping up, he grappled
the stirring spoon with glee,
holding it with both hands
for it was slippery.

As pathetic as Stubby is, you’d think Spoon-Licker would fall in the same category. He stalks your kitchen and waits for a chance to steal the spoons and assorted stirring tools when the cook looks away and just… licks them. However, that’s where the devil in the details rears its ugly head, because that’s all he ever eats. Not the food. He ignores the food. All he steals is the spoon to lick, and that’s his only source of sustenance.

Defense against Spoon-Licker

• Keep close watch on the pots, and one eye on the chimney
• Never relax
• Develop eyes in the back of your head
• Oh god what if he’s already here

Stúfur aka Stubby appears on the 14th and hangs around until the 27th,

The Yule Lad who arrives on 14 December is called Stubby. He is a little, shall we say, vertically challenged. He is also known as Pan Scraper because in the old days he used to try snatching bits of food from the frying pan.

Stubby was the third called,
a stunted little man,
who watched for every chance
to whisk off a pan.

And scurrying away with it,
he scraped off the bits
that stuck to the bottom
and brims – his favorites.

As his name indicates, he’s the shortest of the Yule Lads, possibly the fattest, and by far the least dangerous. The only thing he does is to steal your pan after you’ve cooked on it in order to lick it clean of the disgusting burnt bits, fat and remnants of oil on it.

Defense against Stubby:

• Push him around
• Make fun of him
• Point and laugh